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Empowerment and Mental Illness
Sometimes I feel like these are mutually exclusive, and that makes me
feel like a failure, like there are three of us letting the system
down, meaning we can't reach the nirvana that empowerment is made out
to be, because we aren't well, we still damage the body or want to, we
still get paranoid, or sad, or struggle with food. Surely, that makes
us not-empowered, we don't make the right choices for ourselves or for
the group.
This is difficult for a group that advocates empowered multiplicity. We
are aware that survivorship
and empowerment are not mutually exclusive but at the same
time we are aware that we aren't totally stable, or, some of us aren't.
Maybe that's one of the things with having survived, because we don't
claim horrific abuse that can't be verified, we state clearly what can
be verified, and more importantly has been, and we state what we
speculate about, what headmates claim but we find hard to believe, we
say that, we don't pretend that it must have happened, and even when
being told, we refuse to believe it without proper proof, which, let's
face it, we're not going to get, so we leave that.
Sure if it becomes an issue, like the verified stuff is, we will face
it, but until and/or if it does, there is no reason to do more than
accept that it might have happened, and let it pass us by. It's not
like it triggers us, it's just a bit frustrating sometimes, the fact
that headmates insist on something that could NOT have happened in the
form they claim it did, due to practicalities, that is where our issues
with the unverified stuff end.
Sure, occasionally we get triggered by something we see, but that's
normal, right, for survivors anyway? There are very few specific
triggers, and when we see them, we go inside until we are calmer. We
don't keep fronting to panic, we go inside, get a hug, and work our way
through the ensuing flashbacks. We are aware of what triggers each of
us, and we make an effort to avoid them, as well as being sure that
these triggers are tied to verifiable reality.
We can't avoid them for the rest of our lives, so we're working on
facing them.
DIY CBT!
We whine, yes, or some of us do, which is the same thing, but we also
work through all of this, so that's a tick mark in the non-empowered
column!
On the other hand, those in the group that have an appropriate level of
stability watch out for and look after those of us that don't, we are
well-kept, and we are trying.
I guess we're empowered.
Of sorts
We created a somewhat flippant quiz called "Are You Empowered?" This
quiz is applicable to multiple groups only.
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